


The So-called Seduction of Tsukishiro Yukito

by ysse_writes



Series: Yue!Matchmaker [2]
Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-12
Updated: 2011-09-12
Packaged: 2017-10-23 16:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ysse_writes/pseuds/ysse_writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The continuing travails of Yue!Matchmaker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The So-called Seduction of Tsukishiro Yukito

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters and situations of "CardCaptor Sakura" are property of CLAMP, Kodansha, TV Tokyo and their local distributors. They have been used without permission, with no mean intent or desire for remuneration. This is merely a fan tribute. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Author's notes: This story is the sequel to my story "Tsukishiro Yukito is Going _Down_." Thanks to everyone who commented and requested a sequel, this is for y'all. ::grin:: I hold you all responsible for this piece of craziness.
> 
> Warnings: R, yaoi, and situations CLAMP undoubtedly never thought their characters would be used for. Please don't hurt me, Yue made me do this. Again huge OOC and wackiness warnings. There was absolutely no attempt at a plot or to maintain a reasonable level of sense or sanity. You have been warned. This piece of fiction features a romantic and sexual relationship between two males. If such things or ideas offend you, please read no further.
> 
> Please don't archive, forward or use this fic without permission. Please do enjoy and send comments.

Kinomoto Touya had always believed that he was fairly adept in the Love department. After all, any number of girls could be found hovering around him at any given day, and he'd received a grand total of 54 boxes of chocolate the past Valentine's Day. (Which, by the way, was why that was his best friend Tsukishiro Yukito's favorite day of the year.) Moreover, he'd had his first real girlfriend at fourteen (even he knew that girl in 4th grade didn't count) and Mizuki Kaho had been older and by no stretch of the term a clueless schoolgirl. Kaho had been his teacher or, more accurately, the teacher's aide, and their relationship had been intense and passionate and for one glorious year he had been convinced that Kinomoto history was repeating itself. He couldn't wait till he reached his majority so he could marry Kaho and they could live happily ever after.

Right.

Their subsequent breakup a year later (for no reason at all! Touya fumed) bruised his heart and his ego quite badly and he hadn't looked at another girl for a very long time. (Technically, he _still_ hadn't looked at another girl, but that wasn't the point.) But hearts heal, given time, and egos recover, especially when one finds one's self utterly besotted with an exquisite fairy-creature whose radiant smiles soothed one's spirit while doing interesting things to one's... uhhh... other parts.

Said fairy-creature Tsukishiro Yukito was extraordinarily enchanting -- like a ray of sunshine, a fresh breeze and a starlit night all mushed together and packaged in an adorably lissome body that had Touya in cold sweats more nights than he cared to think about. And recently, to Touya's utter and incredible delight, he had been informed, in no uncertain terms, by a source he considered absolutely reliable, that Yukito had equally frustrated feelings about _him_

Life was _good._

Inform, in fact, was putting it mildly. Yue, Yukito's other form, had all but shoved the information down his throat, demanding to know Touya's intentions. Yukito, Yue enlightened Touya, did not only return his feelings but was in fact _pining,_ having somehow gotten it into his adorable little head that Touya was interested in Akizuki Nakuru, that annoying little nuisance of a classmate that Touya was already certain had been sent by some malicious gods to test his patience and sanity. Armed with the knowledge of Yuki's feelings, and a number of very graphic visual stimuli, Touya had resolved to at once seduce one Tsukishiro Yukito, declare his pure and undying love -- well, hopefully undying, anyway, snerked some inner voice, -- and live happily ever after.

Easier said than done.

Happily ever after my foot, thought Touya. At that moment he would have settled for a few hours of gratuitous mindless... errr... handholding. And other parts! It wasn't that he didn't deeply, truly, madly love Yukito, it was just that he was a teenager and his hormones insisted they had precedence over his heart. Time enough for happily every after later, they screamed, right now two perfectly young, healthy and flexible bodies were going to waste!

Because here he was, a week after that fateful chat with Yue and he was still... errrr... unsatisfied. Worse than that, Yukito still seemed to be blissfully -- the opposite of blissfully, that same voice corrected 'helpfully' since at the moment no one, the least of all him, was very happy -- unaware of Touya's love, adoration, and foiled attempts make his most lascivious dreams come true.

Those gods, decided Touya, weren't only malicious, they were downright warped.

Touya was so frustrated that he actually called up Yukito, and on some flimsy pretext asked if he could come over, just so he could talk to Yue.

Fortunately, it seemed that Yukito really did love Touya because, in spite of how crazy he thought Touya had been acting lately, he readily agreed. His grandparents were out of town again, he said, and they would have the entire house to themselves.

Touya perked up as he heard that. Him plus Yukito plus empty house. Things were looking up!

As soon as Yukito opened the door and let him in, Touya dragged his friend into his bedroom, then grinned at him and patted the bed, indicating he should sit down. "Come on, Yuki," Touya urged, smiling innocently as Yukito eyed him with a hint of wariness. "You know I don't bite." *Well, I haven't yet, anyway. *

Yukito hesitated for only a moment before sitting down. "You said you had a problem," he reminded Touya. "What can I do to help?"

Touya groaned mentally at Yuki's artless question and his solemn, searching gaze. *Just lie down and relax, Yuki... This won't hurt a bit...* "I, uh, need to ask you a question. Could you maybe... errr... close your eyes?"

Yukito blinked. "Close my eyes?" he asked, confused. "Whatever for?"

Touya tried not to look _too_ guilty. "Errr... it's a kind of... embarrassing... question. I'd... ahhh... feel better if you just closed your eyes." He threw his best pleading-puppy gaze at Yukito. "Please?"

Yukito blinked once more then sighed and, trusting his friend totally, did as he asked.

Touya groaned again, the sight of Yukito with his eyes closed and lips parted slightly. It took supreme will power not to simply push his friend down on his bed there and then and do all the things he'd been thinking about doing for the last week. But remembering the results of his previous attempts, he gritted his teeth and controlled himself. "Pssst, Yue!" he hissed into Yuki's ear. "You there?"

Touya drew back as Yukito was suddenly surrounded by an otherworldly light. Wings, the color of moonlight shot out from Yukito's back and enfolded him. When they parted, Yue sat in Yukito's place, glaring at Touya.

And so it was that these two much-beloved but very grumpy characters met once again to regroup and re-plot the seduction of one hapless Tsukishiro Yukito.

"_Now_ what did I do?" demanded Touya as the Moon Guardian growled lowly at him.

"'Pssst'?" Yue repeated indignantly. "That's how you summon me? 'Pssst'?"

"Errrr..." Touya had learned by then that it was best to humor the Moon Guardian. "Okay..." he said. "How should I summon you?"

"How should I know?" Yue snarled. "Clow never made up a summons for me! Those stupid Clow Cards can only be activated by a complicated invocation, but I, the magnificent Moon Guardian, the glorious Final Judgment Maker, am summoned by a mere 'pssst'? Is that fair? It's completely disrespectful! Not to mention unglamorous!" Yue continued to rant for a few moments longer, muttering under his breath about it was a good thing Clow Reed was already dead or he'd have a thing or two to say to his Creator. He would have to talk to Master Sakura about that later, Yue decided. Something in an iambic pentameter would be nice. Maybe a haiku... "And what's with this 'You there?'" he continued to fume. "Where _else_ would I be? Didn't we already discuss this? Is it such a difficult concept to understand? Should I put it in a mathematical equation? Yue equal to but not the same as Yukito? Maybe with visual aids?"

Wow, Yue was truly in a fine froth today, thought Touya, wondering what it was that had Yukito's other form annoyed even more so than usual. "Uhhh... Yue?"

"And you!" Yue growled again. "What the hell is wrong with you? It's been a week! He's willing, he's able, and he's half your size! What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation?"

Touya's rising sympathy disappeared in a flash. "Me?" he protested, glaring back at the Moon Guardian. "I've been doing everything you told me to do! Ravish him, you said. Push him up against a bookshelf, you said!"

Yue met him glare for glare. "Don't blame me for your ineptitude, boy," he snarled. "I don't remember telling you to shove your tongue down his throat and cut off his oxygen. What, you think just because he's half of a magical creature he doesn't need to breathe?" He arched an eyebrow. "Where did you learn to kiss anyway?"

"None of your business!" Touya snapped. "And you said you weren't going to watch!"

"I didn't," Yue answered, flatly. "The Dark Card told me. She was giggling all over the place, and trust me, that's not something she does very often. The Mirror was ready to brain her in your defense."

Touya blushed. "I was nervous, okay? And why did he...you... have to change like that, all of a sudden? I had everything under control! As it was I almost grabbed your... errr... you."

"What did you expect me to do?" responded Yue. "Let him hit his head and get a concussion? Like he doesn't have enough problems with that brain of his? He was unconscious! And not just I've-taken-over-his-body unconscious, _really_ unconscious!" He glared again. "And that was my wrist, you idiot."

"Oh, thank God," Touya breathed, with great feeling.

Yue harrumphed, crossing his arms across his chest. "If it makes you feel any better," he acceded, gruffly, "the truth is he was hyperventilating long before you grabbed him. All that winking made him nervous. Tell me, who was the dolt that told you to keep doing that? I mean, have you ever _seen_ yourself ?"

"Thanks a lot," Touya growled.

"And besides," Yue continued, "I changed back right away, didn't I? I don't see why you couldn't have just continued with the original plan."

Touya frowned, confused. "Yuki was out cold, remember?"

"So?" Yue asked, impassively.

"I was not going to just -- Oh forget it." Touya sighed loudly. "Look, can you just please help me? I'm desperate."

"I think that's a lifelong condition," Yue pointed out. "I'm not sure even Master Clow could help you there."

"About Yuki!'' Touya gritted. "I meant about Yuki!"

"Ah," Yue nodded, sagely. "That's slightly more doable." He arched an eyebrow, skeptically. "In theory, anyway."

"I did everything you told me to!" Touya protested again.

"This again?" Yue growled. "Do you want me to use the Return Card to play back our conversation? I never _once_ mentioned asphyxiation."

"Can we get past that, please?" Touya begged. "Fine," he admitted. "I messed up. What I don't understand is how come he didn't remember anything when he woke up. He was practically apologizing to _me._"

Yue sniffed, disdainfully. "Presumably, the experience was so terrible he blocked it out."

"_Yue!_"

"Oh, alright." Yue thought about it. "We may have underestimated Yukito's capacity for obliviousness," he admitted, finally.

Touya raised an eyebrow. "_We?_"

Yue ignored him. "I told you that Master Clow placed certain protective measures into Yukito's being, did I not? Those... protections... may be working overtime."

"Why?"

"Well, you _are_ trying to storm his borders," Yue pointed out.

"Eh?" Touya was confused.

"Breach his citadel?"

Touya looked at Yue suspiciously. If he didn't know better he'd say the Guardian was smirking. "I liked you better when you were being crabby," Touya muttered. "You know, sometimes you are _just_ like him."

Yue grunted. "Perish the thought." He looked at askance at Touya. "In any case, shouldn't you be glad he forgot? It gave you another chance the next day. You know, in the Copy Room."

Touya groaned, placing his head in his hands as Yue hid a snicker. "And we know how successful _that_ was," he mumbled. "He _only_ ran out of there screaming like a banshee."

"Well, who was the idiot that got his trousers caught in the paper feed slot?" Yue asked. "You're really useless at this cornering-people thing, aren't you?"

Touya groaned again. "I've never been so embarrassed in my life."

"At least you were still in them," pointed out Yue. "And he was only trying to help. That copier grabbed you in a... well, shall we say _delicate_ area."

"He should have stayed and helped me," Touya grumbled. "Not gone screeching for the teachers."

Yue hid another grin. "He panicked," he explained, almost kindly. "All those rollers and gears, you know. He was seeing the death of his love life flash before his eyes." He sniffed again. "Besides, you're only embarrassed because Akizuki found you first."

"That reminds me," Touya whined. "Can't we get rid of her? She's really starting to get in the way."

"Are we talking about the Boys' Locker Room incident? " Yue wondered, idly. "I did wonder how she got in there in the first place."

"And the one in the Home Economics Room," nodded Touya. "I was making my move when she distracted him with that pie."

"I do have to admit," Yue conceded, thoughtfully, "that Yukito is proving to be remarkably... resistant... to his seduction. Especially as they're _his_ scenarios, after all. It's very puzzling. He _certainly_ didn't get that from me." He smirked, suddenly. "Or Master Clow, for that matter."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Touya accused. "I'm beginning to suspect you orchestrated this entire thing for your own amusement. "

"I don't lie," Yue said, affronted, tossing a lock of hair back and glaring indignantly. "And even if I did I certainly wouldn't lie about this. Yukito's well-being is _very_ important to me."

"Well, then, why are you being so cheerful all of a sudden?" he demanded. "A week ago you were ready to cut my throat. You started this, remember? Yuki's depressed, you said. Fix it, you said." He huffed. "Push him up against a bookshelf, you said!"

Yue arched a delicate eyebrow. "Pressure's getting to you, huh?"

Touya snarled.

"Well, if it's any consolation," Yue volunteered, "Yukito isn't depressed anymore."

"He isn't?" Touya hoped that didn't mean Yuki had gotten over him all of a sudden.

"No. You've been acting so crazy that he's forgotten all about Akizuki. He was up all night searching the Internet for the symptoms of a mental breakdown. Poor boy, he's actually called up one of those 1-900 Dial-A-Shrink numbers trying to get a diagnosis."

Touya growled. "Tell me you're kidding."

"You should be flattered," Yue said, evenly. "He's quite prepared to forget college and just hang around here, changing your bedpans and wiping the drool off your chin. And he's been reading up on how to give sponge baths."

"He is?" Touya's head reeled with the visual.

"Hah!" Yue snorted, triumphantly. "That's why you don't get anywhere, you're just as easily distracted as he is."

"Excuse me?" Touya demanded, indignantly. "You throw 'sponge bath' in my face and expect me _not_ to be distracted?"

Yue waved a hand dismissively. "I tried to hint that he should look under 'Sexual Frustration' but he didn't hear me."

"Yue," Touya groaned. "Focus, please. We need a plan."

"_We?_" Yue repeated.

"Okay, _I_ need a plan." Touya wondered if his pleading puppy look would work on Yue but decided not to risk it.

Yue looked contemplative. "Well," he said, "you still haven't tried the --"

"I am _not_ going to try the subway thing! Not on the first date, anyway!"

"You're right," Yue nodded. "That kind of position needs a lot of practice." He eyed Touya speculatively. "Yukito's certainly in shape for it, but I don't think you --"

"Actually," Touya interrupted, loudly, "just in case, I'd like to wait till I'm old enough to bail _myself_ out of jail. It's not the kind of crime I'd want my dad going down to the police station for, if you know what I mean." He waved a hand broadly. "I say we just forget these scenarios of his."

That got Yue's attention. "Are you saying we should forget the entire thing?" he demanded, crossing his arms once more and glaring balefully. "I thought you loved Yukito!" Touya better not have changed his mind, thought Yue, or Master Sakura or no, he'd --

Touya sighed deeply. "You know I do," he answered, sincerely.

"Well, then?"

Touya sighed again. "I know you say these fantasies mean a lot to him, " he said, "but I really just want to tell him I'm crazy about him and that I want to smother him in chocolate syrup and lick him clean."

"Oh sure," Yue grunted, rolling his eyes expressively, "that's right, render him senseless with images of food and then take advantage. How romantic is that?"

"This from the one who wanted me to ravish him while he was unconscious?"

"I'm sure he would have regained consciousness at _some_ point," the Moon Guardian snorted. "Unless you're even more inept than I think you are."

"You are of absolutely no help," Touya tried to sound stern. "None. Nada. Zero."

"Oh, alright," capitulated Yue. "I do agree this has gone on long enough. It's best we get this thing over with before you have to deal with other things."

Touya narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "_Other_ things?" he questioned, silkily.

Yue looked slightly flustered, obviously having said something he wasn't supposed to, and waved his hand dismissively. "No sense worrying about that right now," he said airily, "you're having enough trouble with _this_ thing."

Touya continued to eye Yue doubtfully; ready to question him further, when the Moon Guardian laughed suddenly, a wicked gleam coming into his lavender eyes. "But you know, you did just give me an idea."

"Oh, please," Touya moaned, predictably distracted. "Not another scenario!"

"It makes perfect sense," Yue continued, a small mischievous smile on his normally impassive face. "If Yukito won't be seduced by normal means, then there's only one thing to do."

Touya raised an eyebrow skeptically. "And that is?" he prompted.

Yue actually grinned. Wickedly, evilly, _grinned._ "We trick _him_ into seducing _you._"

 

  


Tsukishiro Yukito woke up in the middle of his bed feeling just a little disconcerted. Not that he was complaining. He was starting to get used to these sudden blackouts and really, there were worse places to wake up in than in one's bed. But then again, there were _better_ places to wake up in as well, he thought. Touya's bed, for example. With Touya in it with him, preferably.

Now if Touya would only take the hint...

But no, Touya was either utterly oblivious or utterly uninterested and pretending to be oblivious so as not to hurt his feelings. Yukito sighed forlornly. It was probably the latter, he decided. After all, Touya was so kind-hearted he couldn't even snub Akizuki directly and God knew that floozy deserved it!

He smiled, remembering how Touya had brushed Akizuki off each time their new classmate had glomped him this last week. It was such a relief. Yuki had been very worried that Touya was actually starting to like her but it was starting to look like he'd been mistaken. Still, that didn't mean _his_ situation had gotten any better.

Yuki had just about given up on his darling. True, there were times this last week he could have sworn that Touya was making the moves on him, but he suspected his hopelessly smitten heart was simply deluding itself and seeing things that weren't really there. A coping fantasy, as those psych texts termed it.

But then again, Touya _had_ been acting very strange lately, even though he was so adorable he could carry it off. Yukito had heard that studying for the college entrance exams actually drove some seniors crazy and wondered if that was might be what was happening to his friend. After all, he reasoned, who in their right mind voluntarily applied for every mascot job in town? But no matter, he resolved, he would stand by his beloved Touya no matter what.

*I'll just bet Akizuki has something to do with this,* he thought. *That girl would drive anyone batty.*

Trashing Akizuki in his mind had been a favorite pastime, lately.

He sighed again, trying to remember just what had happened before he'd lost consciousness.

As soon as he arrived Touya dragged him into his bedroom. He'd tried not to think about what that could portend -- he'd been disappointed too many times in the past -- especially as Touya grinned and patted the bed, indicating he should sit down.

"Come on, Yuki," Touya urged, smiling innocently. "You know I don't bite."

*Well,* thought Yukito, his natural optimism rising. *There's always a first time!* He took a seat beside Touya, risked a shy eyelash-flutter and gazed up at his friend. "You said you had a problem," he reminded Touya. "What can I do to help?"

"I, uh, need to ask you a question. Could you maybe... errr... close your eyes?"

He had blinked. "Close my eyes?" he'd asked, his heart hammering. He had quite a number of fantasies that started out just this way. "Whatever for?"

Touya had flushed. "Errr... it's a kind of... embarrassing... question. I'd... ahhh... feel better if you just closed your eyes." He'd thrown his best pleading-puppy gaze at Yukito. "Please?"

Yukito had melted, unable to deny Touya anything when he looked at him like that. Trusting Touya totally, he'd done as he'd asked and closed his eyes. And the next thing he knew he was waking up alone in his bed.

*Hey,* he thought, perking up. *Maybe Touya --* He closed his eyes, trying to see if he could feel any new and strange aches in his body.

Nothing.

*Darn it. I'm just going to have to drug him, that's all there is to it!* he thought, peevishly. *I'll be doing him a favor, saving him from Akizuki's clutches!* He sighed again. No, he couldn't do that to Touya. Despite his frustration he would never betray Touya's trust. True, he didn't hold out much hope of anything between them ever happening, but if it ever did, he wanted his love to come to him willingly, to confess his true and everlasting devotion sweetly, tenderly, before they fell on each other and made it like hyenas.

Yukito chuckled to himself, unable to maintain the image, and fondly relegated that scenario to the back of his mind, the latest in his ever-growing collection.

Where _was_ Touya, anyway? Did he leave already?

He sat up just as the door opened and the object of his thought came in, bearing a tea tray laden with, well, tea, and miniature sandwiches. *What, no cake?* Touya had been feeding him a lot of cake lately, for some reason, and he had gotten somewhat used to it.

"Feeling better?" Touya asked, smiling at him softly.

This was something else he'd gotten very used to, reflected Yukito. Touya's kindness and caring. "Yes," he nodded. "I'm sorry I fell asleep on you." A beat. "Again."

"You've been tired a lot lately," Touya commented with a concerned frown. "Maybe you're doing too much studying for the entrance exams."

"Maybe," Yukito agreed, though he was already fairly certain that wasn't the cause of his constant tiredness.

"I made myself comfortable in your kitchen," Touya said, indicating the tray he was carrying. "I hope you don't mind."

"Don't be silly, To-ya," he demurred. "You know you're welcome to anything I have." *How about my willing body? Can I interest you in that? Free? Parts and labor guaranteed?* He took the cup Touya handed him with a soft murmur of thanks, grateful for the liquid's heat as an excuse for the sudden infusion of color into his cheeks. He eyed the sandwiches soulfully and Touya handed him the entire plate with a small laugh. "You know me _so_ well," he murmured, grinning.

"Thanks for letting me come over, Yuki." Touya said as he placed the tea tray on the low study table. "I really appreciate it."

"Any time," he said, around a mouthful of sandwich. Touya did look troubled, Yukito thought. "I should be thanking _you._ You didn't have to stay and take care of me. I'd have been fine."

"I don't mind," Touya answered, sincerely. "Besides," he flushed, "I still have that... errr... problem."

"Oh, that's right," Yukito said with a small frown. "That's why you came here." He quickly finished the rest of his tea and sandwiches, then placed the cup, saucer and plate carefully on his headboard. "So what is it, To-ya?" he asked, softly. "How can I help?" He was surprised when Touya flushed again and lowered his eyes in embarrassment, mumbling something under his breath. Was Touya cursing? He touched Touya's arm gently, noting that Touya's flushed deepened. "To-ya..." he murmured. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"Ummm..." Touya hedged, "Yuki, we're friends, aren't we?"

Yukito nodded earnestly.

"So... We can ask each other anything, right?"

Yukito nodded again.

Touya took a deep breath. "Yuki?"

"Yes, To-ya?"

"Do you... think I'm..."

Yukito frowned. Touya had never been shy. Whatever his problem was, it had to be big or Touya would never be so circumspect. "Do I think you're...?" he encouraged.

Touya's face turned the most interesting shade of crimson. "Do you think I'm attractive?"

Yukito's eyes actually bulged and he almost choked. "Attractive?" he stammered.

"Come on, Yuki." Touya's tone turned wheedling. "You can tell me the truth. Do you think I'm attractive? Hot? Sexy?"

Yukito coughed. "To-ya," he said on a strangled breath. "Why are you asking me this?" To-ya didn't know, did he? he thought in panic.

Touya turned earnest eyes at him. "You see... There's someone I kind of... like. And I'm not sure this person likes me back."

Yukito was torn between relief and heartbreak. Touya liked someone? Who? "Don't be silly, To-ya," he said again, trying to sound cheerful. "You know you could have any girl you wanted. Why, last Valentine's day alone..."

"I'm not talking about just any girl, Yuki," Touya protested. "This is a very special person."

*Goddammit,* Yukito thought, *if it's Akizuki I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to the chocolate shop and eat everything until I explode! At least I still have chocolate!* "Well, whoever it is," Yukito said, "I'm sure she likes you back. Why would you think she doesn't?"

"You see," Touya said. "I tried... kissing... this person, and... well, let's just say I was vehemently rebuffed."

*Kissing?* thought Yukito, indignantly. *There's been _kissing_ going on?* Wait -- "Vehemently rebuffed?" he asked. Touya? Rebuffed?

Touya nodded. "I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I... errr... didn't know how to kiss."

Yukito blinked. Surely it wasn't true, he thought. Yukito had had a million daydreams about kissing Touya and all had been wonderful. Who would dare treat his Touya so? Akizuki? Why that little -- She better be nowhere in range during his next archery practice! "But To-ya," he said, "you went out with Mizuki-san for a year. And I don't know her very well, but she doesn't strike me as the type who'd stay with someone... errr... not skillful in such matters. I'm sure you're a wonderful kisser."

"Well, Kaho _did_ leave me, in case you've forgotten," Touya answered, looking so mournful that Yukito almost slapped his palm to his forehead in regret. "Besides, it's been so long since then." Touya continued, wistfully. "Maybe I've lost my touch."

Yukito couldn't think of a response. *Maybe it's _who_ you've been kissing that's the problem! Ever think about that?*

"Yuki?" Touya's head was lowered again, but his voice sounded breathless and Yukito could see that he was again blushing furiously.

"Hmmm?" he asked, still at a loss as to what to say.

"Would you... test me?"

Yukito's heart stopped. He did _not_ hear that right, he couldn't have. He coughed. Then coughed again, choked, and Touya had to pound him on the back and hand another cup of tea. "Excuse me?" he asked, still wheezing. "What did you say?"

Touya mumbled under his breath and then took a deep bracing breath. "I said, would you test me? I mean, could I kiss you and... errr... could you, you know, critique my technique?"

Oh dear God, thought Yukito. He was hallucinating. He must be. Touya was asking if he could kiss him?

"Or maybe you could kiss me and show me how it's done?" Touya suggested helpfully.

Touya was asking him to kiss him? What did he do to deserve this? thought Yukito dazedly. All the angels in heaven must be smiling down at him. A benevolent god must have blessed him beyond his wildest dreams. He must've been a saint in his past life and all his karma points were finally catching up to him. He must've --

Wait. Touya was asking for help because he liked someone _else._ Damn it, thought Yukito. _That_ part had no place in his fantasies. What kind of sap helped the guy he liked practice kissing so he could kiss someone else? Certainly not Tsukishiro Yukito! But as Touya continued to gaze at him so intensely he could feel his outrage dissolving. Then again, he rationalized, he _would_ get to kiss Touya. Maybe --

"But To-ya," he said, demurely, "are you sure that'd be a good idea? Why don't you ask Youko?" As soon as the words were out he wanted to knock his head against the nearest wall. *What the hell is wrong with you?* some inner voice snarled. *Just grab him and push him down on the bed, will you? Knock him out with the teapot! Tie him up with the curtain sash!*

Touya turned those puppy eyes on him again and Yukito groaned inwardly in surrender. "Please, Yuki?" Touya pleaded. "You're my best friend. You're the only one I can ask this favor from. You're the only one who can help me."

Yukito sighed in defeat. *Well,* he thought, squaring his shoulders mentally, *I do get to kiss him this way. And who knows if I'll ever get another chance? Besides,* he grinned to himself, suddenly getting a wicked idea, *this is my chance to show him what he's been missing! He'll be lucky if he even _remembers_ Akizuki once I'm done with him!* That resolved, he gazed up shyly at Touya and placed his hands on his friend's shoulders. "Okay, To-ya," he said, softly. "Show me what you've got."

 

 

Touya cursed himself mentally. There was no doubt about it, he _really_ hated this plan.

First of all, he didn't like lying to Yukito. True, technically, it _was_ the truth, but he would have just preferred to have gone for broke and spilled his heart's contents. Damn Yue anyway. But, after all, if anyone knew Yukito, it would be Yue, wouldn't it? Yue would know best, wouldn't he?

Second, he'd been worried that he couldn't pull it off. After all, his lack of acting skills was legend in Seijou High. Yue had maintained that it wasn't actually acting, since again, technically, it was the truth. "Think about your motivation!" Yue had insisted. "Internalize!" but Touya knew he couldn't pretend if his life depended on it. The only one he ever seemed to be able to fool was his little sister Sakura, and that was only because she was even more oblivious and trusting than Yukito.

_Trust._ Touya groaned. He was _such_ a beast. Here Yukito was, gazing up at him so trustingly, offering himself because he thought Touya needed help and Touya was ready to use that to his advantage. Sheer guilt almost made Touya change his mind there and then.

But Yukito's eyes were shining like stars, and he was smiling so sweetly, and his mouth was soooo close.

*Damn the consequences,* Touya growled to himself. *I'll just have to go to hell, that's all. It'll be worth it.*

Without another thought his hands went to Yukito's head, fingers tangling into soft gray hair, holding him still for the onslaught of his mouth.

At the last moment, just as Yukito's eyes instinctively closed, he caught himself. The kiss that finally landed on Yukito's waiting mouth was soft, gentle, teasing; tasting Yukito's mouth as if it were a piece of fruit. He nibbled and sucked at Yukito's bottom lip, then soothed with soft touches of his tongue.

*Good Lord,* Touya thought distantly, somewhere in the back of his mind. *This is actually happening. It's actually working!*

When he pulled away, finally, he was pleased to see a dazed look as Yukito opened his eyes, followed closely by a look of disappointment. "Uhh," Yukito breathed, a small flush across the bridge of his delectable nose. "That's... errr... it?"

Touya hid a smirk. "Why?" he asked, woefully. "No good?"

"No!" Yukito's flush deepened. "I mean, no," he said, trying to sound more unaffected. "That was okay for a first kiss."

"Really?" he asked brightly. "You're not just saying that?"

"Very... ahem... nice," nodded Yukito. "But... errr... what did you have planned for the second kiss?"

"Well," he answered, seriously, "I was thinking of something like this." This time the kiss was harder, slightly rougher, his hands angling Yukito's head so he could slant their mouths together. When Yukito's hands tightened on his shoulders, a small whimper escaping as he unconsciously opened his mouth, he pressed his advantage and swept in, touching Yukito's tongue with his till the smaller boy responded. He broke the kiss again, noting with satisfaction Yukito's accelerated breathing. "Or maybe something like this," he said, before swooping down again to reclaim the moist, still-parted lips. This one lasted _quite_ a while, and involved moving Yukito's arms around his neck and pushing the smaller boy ever so slowly down on the bed. "What do you think?" he asked softly, when they finally had to come up for air. "Would that work?"

"Oh yes," Yukito gasped hoarsely, trying desperately to catch his breath and get his heart to slow down. "Very effective. Only an idiot wouldn't like that." He didn't care about hiding his feelings anymore.

Touya frowned thoughtfully. "I'm not so sure," he murmured. "After all, you're my best friend and you're biased." He grinned down at Yukito. "Show me how _you_ would do it."

"What?" Yukito blinked up at him.

"Show me how you'd kiss someone you liked," Touya said, wrapping his arms around Yukito and bringing them both back to a sitting position. He then kept his face blank as he unclasped Yukito's arms from around his neck. "Here, let's start at the beginning. Should I close my eyes? Should I put my hands on your shoulders, too?"

Yukito blinked again. For a moment Touya thought his plan had backfired and that Yukito wasn't going to go for it. Then a strange light came into his friend's eyes and he thought he saw the ghost of an impish smile. "Uhh, To-ya?" he began.

"Yes, Yuki?"

"Well," Yukito began tentatively, "see, you're a lot taller than I am, and I really can't... I mean, it's not really a comfortable position for me, when I have to reach so high up. Would you mind... would you mind lying down?"

Jackpot! thought Touya gleefully. Nodding obediently, he laid down again, careful to keep his body straight and unresponsive.

Yukito grinned down at him softly. "Relax," he whispered as he leaned over him, his breath tickling Touya's ear. "This isn't going to hurt."

Ever so slowly his mouth drifted down and Touya thought that he would have a heart attack before they finally connected. The kiss was sweet, somehow so much sweeter because he could feel the smile just hovering on Yukito's lips, the implicit joy. Yukito's hand touched his face, caressing his cheek, his thumb drifting down to gently massage the corner of Touya's mouth, coaxing it to open. When he obeyed, the other hand drifted up to his other cheek, holding his face gently captive as Yukito explored his mouth. Then his lips lifted, moving to Touya's forehead, his eyes, the tip of his nose, his chin, before returning home to Touya's mouth. Then he smiled and rested his forehead against Touya's, closing his eyes and sighing contentedly. A moment later he was grinning down at Touya. "Pay attention," he murmured solemnly, eyes twinkling merrily. "I'm about to show you how to kiss someone cross-eyed."

And he did just that.

Though he'd sworn to let Yukito take the lead, Touya couldn't help wrapping his arms around Yukito and participating eagerly, whole-heartedly in the kiss. He found himself straining towards Yukito, wanting more.

"I think I see how that's done," he whispered huskily, as Yukito ended the kiss. In one swift movement he reversed their positions, with Yukito lying on the bed and Touya lying over him, their entire bodies touching. "Like this, right?" And he proceeded to return the favor and kiss _Yukito_ cross-eyed.

"Am I doing this right?" Touya whispered some time later, noting idly that Yukito's hands were now tangled in his hair and that his foot was rubbing restlessly against Touya's calf.

"Just go on," Yukito answered, dreamily. "I'll let you know when you do something wrong..."

Somewhere in the course of the next few kisses, however, they lost track of who was teaching whom and who was doing what to whom. There was, in fact, a general absence of rational thought, aside from those belonging to one harried Moon Guardian who was determinedly keeping his eyes closed and humming _very_ loudly to himself. However, a few breathless snippets of conversation still managed to penetrate his defenses.

"Yuki...?"

"Don't stop!"

"Yuki, what comes after kissing?"

"So that's what the Americans call second base?"

"Basically."

"Really... How interesting... Show me more."

"To-ya? What did you do to my shirt?"

"I forget."

"Can I put my hand here?"

"A little lower would be nice..."

"To-ya...?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you _sure_ you don't know what you're doing?

"Yuki...?"

"Yes, To-ya?"

"Do we really need pants for this?"

"Not really, no."

"Yes..."

"Oh, gods, yes."

"Wait!"

"Oh, Yuki..." Touya halted, blinking, as that last word registered. 'Wait'? That slight hesitation was enough, however, for Yukito to scamper away, grabbing hold of the sheet and keeping it in front of him as if he were Grandma and it would defend him from the big bad wolf. Which left only a pillow for Touya. "Yuki?" he asked, softly, noting Yukito's overly bright eyes. Damn it, he was so close! "Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?"

Yukito hung his head guiltily. "I'm sorry, To-ya. I shouldn't have done this."

"Done what?" Touya asked, unable to keep the stress from his voice. *We haven't done it yet!*

Yukito winced. "I shouldn't have taken advantage of you," he whispered, almost tearfully. "You came here asking for my help and what did I do? I... I seduced you!"

"Well, you haven't actually succeeded yet," Touya pointed out. He patted the space beside him, smiling invitingly. "Come back here and you can try again."

"No!" shouted Yukito, shaking his head vehemently and taking another step back. "I'm sorry. You trusted me and I betrayed your trust."

Touya sighed. He was going to _kill_ Yue when he next saw him, he decided. Well, maybe not kill, but he was fairly certain he could maim the Moon Guardian without actually hurting Yukito.

"You and your family have been so good to me," Yukito continued, miserably. "And look at how I've repaid you!"

*Enough!* Touya snarled inwardly. *The hell with Yue, I'm doing this _my_ way!*

"Yuki," he said, very gently, very patiently. "You have this all wrong. I tried to seduce _you._"

Yukito shook his head. "But I seduced you into trying to seduce me!" he wailed. "You like someone else. You should be with that person. I'm sorry I took advantage and tried to lead you astray. What was I thinking?" He gazed around the room frantically. "Where are my clothes?"

Touya rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to keep calm. "Yuki," he interrupted, sternly, "stop being silly and come back here before I come after you and spank you. And I hadn't planned on doing that until our first anniversary."

"I'm sorry I --" Yukito faltered. He stopped looking around and turned slowly to face Touya. "What did you say?" he asked, hoarsely.

"I said," Touya said, very firmly, "that I love you, and I want to cover you in chocolate syrup and lick you clean."

Yukito blinked. "You love me?"

Touya thought it was a very good sign that Yukito chose to focus on that part of his statement. He wagged a finger at him in mock-reprimand. "The correct response is, 'I love you, too, To-ya, and the chocolate is on me.' And I mean that both figuratively and literally," Touya grinned. He sighed softly as Yukito continued to simply stare mutely at him. "I really am sorry I tricked you, Yuki," he said, sincerely, "but I haven't been getting anywhere and I was getting desperate. Look, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to, but can you at least sit down so we can talk about this?" When still Yukito didn't move or respond, Touya began to worry. "I only did it because I was sure you loved me, too," he said, softly. "Was I wrong?"

"You love me?" Yukito asked again.

Touya nodded. "Desperately."

"But… What about Akizuki?"

"What about her?" Touya asked, his annoyance evident on his face. "If I wasn't raised such a gentleman I'd have shoved that pain-in-the-neck head-first into the nearest trash chute."

Yukito was still confused. "But... You like someone, you said. You kissed her, and she didn't like it."

"That was you," Touya explained, gently. "I kissed you in the library and you fainted. I... errr... cut off your oxygen. And you didn't remember so apparently I wasn't very good at it. And I've been trying to get you alone for an entire week now."

Yukito blinked. Touya had kissed him in the library and he didn't remember? That could _not_ be true. But now that he thought about it... "So you _were_ trying to corner me in the Copy Room?" he questioned. He'd suspected, but it had seemed so unlikely.

Touya blushed. "You moved so suddenly," he nodded. "I was supposed to ravish you on top of the big photocopier."

Yukito tried to disguise his giggle as a cough.

"It's not funny!" Touya protested. He folded his arms across his chest and glared at Yukito.

"That study session when your Father suddenly came home in the middle of the day?" Yukito asked next, arching a delicate eyebrow.

"Just seconds before I would have thrown you on my bed," Touya admitted, sheepishly.

"The Boy's Locker Room?" he challenged.

"Shower," Touya muttered.

"The Home Ec Room?"

"Whipped cream."

Yukito's eyebrow rose even higher. "I see," he replied, acidly.

Touya's heart fell. Yukito didn't sound the least bit pleased with his confession. He had the strangest glint in his eyes, somehow suggesting mayhem and a slow painful death. He knew he was in big trouble when even his sweet Yuki got mad.

*I am going to _strangle_ Yue!* he vowed.

"Remind me to kill Akizuki the next time I see her." Yukito said, flatly.

He started to nod. "Oka--" Touya halted. "What?"

"I mean, sure, her pie was great," Yukito continued implacably, "but if I had known --" He shook his head in disgust. With a small, disdainful sniff, he wrapped the sheet more tightly around himself and spun around, heading for the door.

"Wait!" Touya shouted. "Yuki! Where are you going?"

"The kitchen."

"Why?" Yukito couldn't be hungry at a time like this, could he? thought Touya. A pox on Akizuki and her pie! "Come back here! We need to talk about this!"

"I've only got six words to say to you, Kinomoto Touya," Yukito said, evenly but the smile he threw over his shoulder was both tender and wicked, a smile that perhaps only he could have been capable of. "I love you, too."

Touya smiled back, happier than he could have ever though possible. "That's only four words," he pointed out.

Yukito blew him a kiss, laughing as he walked out the door. "Chocolate syrup."

 

 

 **Epilogue**

  
Deep in the place where 'true' forms go when their 'false' forms are walking the earth and wreaking havoc with the hearts and lives of ordinary mortals, the Moon Guardian Yue sat and contemplated the past and the future. *Well,* he thought, in satisfaction. *I'm glad _that's_ settled.*

Maybe now he could get some rest.

On the other hand, he admitted, he _had_ found it amusing to meddle in Yukito and Touya's lives as he had. *No wonder Master Clow was such a busybody,* he thought. *It's fun!*

There was Master Sakura and her adventures to occupy him, of course, but that was _work._ And fun was a concept that the Final Judgment Maker was only starting to become acquainted with. *You sit around trapped in a book for a few centuries and you discover a whole new definition of 'bored.' No wonder the Clow Cards went insane the moment Master Sakura opened that book.*

Besides, Master Clow always did say that it was important to broaden one's horizons...

A face came to him then, a small face with serious brown eyes, thick brows that seemed forever knit in annoyance and cheeks that were flaming red practically each time he saw them. A youth who was dramatically torn between his unwitting attraction to the false form of a Moon Guardian and his reluctant admiration for that Guardian's Master.

Yue smirked. Now that he had settled Yukito's affairs, he decided, perhaps he should give this other matter his attention. After all, if there was ever a pair more clueless than Touya and Yukito, the Creator of All knew it was those kids...

And after that?

He grinned, inexplicably heartened.

He'd just have to see what the future had in store...

 

 

  


**  
THE END   
**   
  
Copyright Jessi Albano 2001  
18 October 2001


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